To fall in love is to dip your brush
And watch the color diffuse
You find that in time the one that you love
Is always the one you abuse

A blackened drop in crystal water
Turns purple as it fills the space
He took that violet from the pool
And splashed it on her face

He beat her till her heart broke
It was the last to go
Is it better to see your love is dead
Or better not to know?


When I say “heart”
My mind scoffs as it has been taught
The heart is a joke
Known only to fools and dreamers
Their eyes blind to wisdom and reality
But my heart hurts
No sharp pain
But a vacuous shell
Unknowing as to whether
This ache comes from loss or lack

Ignorance doesn’t leave wounds
And the bitter pill of nature
Loses flavor swiftly
But this heartache lingers on
It seems normal to mock myself
To say the heart is for blood
The spirit is hormonal
And the soul is a myth
But why is the pumping in my chest
Nothing more than an underscore?

A neon light flickers
It reads “vacancy”
As the aged chambers echo
And wait in persistant emptiness
On the floors are stains
Scarce belongings from past patrons
A seashell crushed underfoot
Dry and old
Once a home
Now nothing but frail bone
These keepsakes flickering out as well
As the power fades

Now even the notice of vacancy is gone
And cars drive by without hesitation
All I wanted was friends in my heart
Visiting every once in a while
Living their own lives
While their memory
And occasional company
Would be sufficient charge

These empty rooms wouldn’t be full
But they would shelter beloved faces
If only for the day
The tears I don’t shed
Bleed from my heart
And my shameful sentimentality
Rips wounds from those leaks
As if the cynical hands of humanity,
My own included,
Sunder the walls
Expelling friendships and memories
Past and future
Into the night
And ever lonesome


Her skin was pierced and inked
Glistening like stars
Shining colors like scales
Form tight like a freshly bound book

Her mind was sharp and bright
Slicing like steel
Blinding rays like the sun
But never to fall on the same place again

She was a mature flower
Petals tipped in brown
Scent muted and misty
Like perfume drifting from an envelope

I was the cold winter
Snow and ash
Drifting on the same breeze
Longing for another

We met in the season
End of yours
Start of mine
Hello became goodbye

Did I freeze your petals
Or did they float away?
Will you bloom when I’m the sun
Could we be together someday?

Dream: Lost

It started as I fell asleep
I was with her in a forest
The trees tall and healthy green
The scent of pine mixes with her purfume
As the scene combusts
She runs ahead, with her hand held back
Screaming “follow me”
As she fades out from the smoke
Just as it blinds me

I awaken, in some measure,
To a blackened plain
With the last scent of the forest
Soaked into the front of my shirt
I step forward
Though unsure of the way to go
So I jog forward
Or at least what I assume is forward

I come to a shack
On the edge to a vast desert
A old man from inside tells me
I was going the right way
But I couldn’t smell her purfume
Over the smell of his field of seedlings
Coated in wet manure

As I run through the desert
I look behind me
And see the farm in ruins
With the ground sucked dry
By the now-towering trees
It is clear
That time here was swifter than I

The sand chips my skin
And my eyes burn with the wind
But a car drives by
Old and rusty, as all things here-
Things running out of time
The driver accepts me
But their face is hidden in a helmet
And their mouth hidden by a scarf
They vanish, just as the gas does
And I am walking the sands again

Something gleams ahead
And I run to it-
This young thing in an old land
It is a hotel
With chrome handles free of rust
And painted walls free of chips
A man in a suit rides the elevator with me
He tells me it has been a year
Since I have seen her

The elevator stops rising
As the floors below instantly age
And crumble
I wait until the hotel becomes a motel
And step out on the top floor
Which is now the bottom
The desert has frozen and turned to snow

My hands now grip a snowmobile
As I ride over the dunes
Someone beside me howls
Through the blizzard air
That she is ahead, I must drive fast
And ever so long
So as months pass
I pursue

But now a voice calls from my other side
And says that I’ve been led astray
That she has gone the other way
To turn back would kill the engine
Or kill me
Not to mention the months now wasted
Despite this, I go after her

I pass the hotel
Nothing more than glass and dust
I pass the car
Nothing more than a rusty husk
I look for the shack,
But see nothing where it once stood
My vehicle dies
Here at the edge of a great forest

The deja vu hits me
As I see a new shack ahead of me
With seedlings outside
Waiting to replace the lost trees
A flame travels from my foot
And ignites this section of the woods

I look around me
There is no more desert,
No more hotel,
No more arctic tundra,
Only trees darkening the horizon
They grow so swiftly
As time goes by so fast
So fast without her
I could set them ablaze one at a time
But the hours would be lost
As they grow back; like wildfire

How long as it been?
I look to my hands, wrinkled and ashy
As tears well up in my eyes
For her hands must look the same
Wherever they are
Assuming they’re still warm
Or would even recognize my touch

I build a house – a coffin – to wait for death
Though while I sit waiting
The walls crumble from the rage of time
From their rusted pores
I see a distant inferno

From the trees, a young woman appears
She is so beautiful, looking just like her
I raise my hand to shout
But I see my threadbare skin
And fear for her seeing me
So I stay in my shack
As she turns around
Cluches her heart
And runs back into the flames

Minutes, hours, months
They all pass
And a young man appears
Wearing a shirt soaked
With the last moisture of the forest
I could tell he would seek the girl
I tell him to seek forward
Though his destination was far behind
Perhaps it was to spare him the pain
Of finding her with wrinkled hands
Or perhaps it was my own jealousy

No matter,
The trees are towering over me now
My shack turns to dust
Just as I do
With no soil’s moisure
Or tears
To unparch this heart
I wake up, in some measure


Every evening
Does exactly that
As darkness overtakes light
The bitter compliments the sweet
And bitter indeed
Is the water of the styx
For in each pale evening
We take a sip

Even in the light
We cannot tell
If it is half full
Or half empty
Perfectly even
Just as we are
Slowly gorging on the dark
Or slowly seeping empty
Every evening


Familiar tune
But unfamiliar lyrics
Replaced all
With skeptical humming
Fading in and out
Like waves on feet
Cast in green copper
The song escapes
As uncertain voices elect
To leave the singing to the lyricists-
That dying breed
They project till their filiments sever
And leave us in voiceless darkness
With music blurring
As the needle slashes the black center
We lose the rhythm
The inflection
Every single election
Till the call of liberty is lost
They say it’s not over till the fat lady sings
But it seems it isn’t over
Until the New Colossus finally falls silent


Countless wiser men and women
Vision beyond that of hindsight
With their bonds of community
Warm, tight, and unobstructive
Like the grasp of an infant’s hand
Leading them towards the light

Despite my moral maxim
I find myself leaving them
Friends only wishing to see me
To hear how I’ve been
Yet I fail them as they fade away
Reluctantly returning to the functional

They offered their time to me
Their most valuable treasure
Yet I always seem to let it spill
Between digits too placid to perform
They were ardent bulbs
Filaments severed
Victims of convenience

The friends I want the most
Like snowflakes on the car’s hood
Turn to liquid and migrate
Vectors to the unfamiliar ground
Coveted freedom from Galwyn
They slick the tires that I try to brace

They leave with the sun
Shaking like a leaf
My hands on the steering wheel
Cold and clenched
My only hope is to drive
Steal the heat of the engine

Parked cliffside
Beside a lake
On the rails
All alone at last
Until a hand grips me tight

The one friend never to leave
Who floats around my head
In the frozen air of twilight
Incubated in these frigid thoughts
Beloved lonesomeness
Widow of knowledge

She pulls the sting from my eyes
The aftershocks from my skull
The waves ever toppling me
Dry to salted plains
Given sleep by her hand
Reality and dreams unpolerize
At last willing to be awakened


She pinches me right between the eyes
Holding my nose like a rowdy child
Her arms wrap around my head
Holding me close
Her grip is slightly too strong
And I feel a faint ache
As her dark skin massages my temples

Through her everything seems clearer
Her body transparent
To a fault-
No soul fogs her form
Yet when I see through her
There are others before me
Brimming with emotion
To a fault-

I watched my love wander away
And as I reached
I could tell my hand would not meet her
From my crumpled face I pull an old friend
With dark arms and transparent soul
Her fingers pulled from my nose
To let the cold breeze in a little more
And blur the wandering love away
Perhaps it is better to be blind
Than to be trapped with the crisp image
Of a lonesome night

Though it is slightly less lonesome
As she rests beside me
Arms crossed
To give me a clear world in the sun
And wipe it away when it starts to hurt
Leaving only splinters of the truth


Some high or indulgence
Expensive and fleeting
Taking what it offers
While paying the price
Find what makes you happy
And watch it be destroyed

Like synchronizing the tides
Lightyears away
Two liquids
Of different composition
Trying so hard not to dissolve each other
But there is no solution
Find your love
And watch it be destroyed

Unable to satisfy
In one or another
Time swiftly goes by
As the escape ladders
Are snapped free of rungs
Leaving you to the flames
Your grief will find you
And watch you be engulfed


As the evening seeps
Twin wings flutter above
Swiftly, but not fiercely
For the starkling delivers its omens
Right on time
Such a slight creature
With tenacious eyes
And midnight blue feathers
Spiraling upon the water’s surface
Like a skipped stone
Of smooth sapphire

It doesn’t nest
And its legs never tire
But its wings,
Are cooled by the nighttime air
And loosened by the morning sun
Feeling nothing more then the sting
Of perpetual motion
And the tossing of tempests

The starkling offers sleep
And stillness
To those who it appears to
Those with eyes skyward
In the cold night
With nothing else to stare upon
Than shadows in the inky sky