It Shouldn’t Hurt

It shouldn’t hurt
The scalpel slices deep
Traces my veins and lets them run wild
My brain and heart are dead
As they should be
Spine tapped and arms strapped
Legs wrapped tight
Bound to this skin
And I cannot flee

This shouldn’t hurt
The words of calming
Like pulses of a monitor
Ringing their way
Singing their way
Out of you and into me

This shouldn’t hurt
They ways things are and ought to be
Yet there wasn’t a formula
No chemical compound
Which brought you here to me

But it does hurt
My arms quaking
Temples throbbing and collapsing
Breath scattered and brief
Staring desperate to the florescent light
Wishing it wouldn’t burn
Wishing you were all I could see
It tears me limb from limb
Cracks every tooth
From clenching in my sleep
You’ll stay with me
Like this pain
It shouldn’t hurt
But if it didn’t,
There wouldn’t be you and me




Everything I knew and more
Dropped her feet
My head down and domestic
Having run for miles and days
Through bramble and tempest

I found the best there was
And carried it back
Lips dried and torn
Yet tight around my gift for you
A snarl of determination
My only companion
In your absence

Yet, as my hard work met the floor
Your eyes didn’t meet mine
But my alms did
The lashes and bashes sting my neck
Not sure what will crack first
My body, my mind, or my heart


Nails and Teeth

I place my heart out on the desk
And loving kiss upon her neck
I hear her pulse within her chest
Her sour tastes demand the rest

My embrace, turned to a fit
My words of love, all turned to spit
She said her heart was in my grip
But all I grasp, is thighs and hips

I’d give the world, if you would take it
Your fantasy, I tried to make it
I’ll play along, yet mostly fake it
A never sought to see you naked

I wanted romance,
Wanted peace,
She wanted rage,
Nails and teeth
I wanted deeper
And so did you
You wanted pleasure,
I wanted you.



I used to dream each night
Of how you might be
Your smile
And your laugh
How it would feel to me
To be in love
And have you next to me
Not bound to my eyelids
And hopeful imagery

I always dreamed each night
Of how things used to be
When you were on my side
Though not there next to me
I dreamt of how we’d find
A better life to lead
But my eyes were open
And watched your heart secede

I still dream every night
But not how it used to be
I dream of any,
And all,
Save for you and me


4th Degree

Forked tongues of flame
Lick blistered lesions
Of selfish red seasons
Defacing my brain

The first layer burns
The pain unexpected
Yet pain redoubles
Second layer,

Hiss Hiss
Burn through muscle
My mind, now narrow
Inky black sludge
Broken bones, melted marrow


Once Bright

Moths lingering to the light
Swatted one by one
Ashen spirals
Flaking filament
Stirring corpses
So slight and soundless as they fall
Like spinning maple seeds

Like letters of longing
Put to page
Left far too close to the flame
The ashes crawl across my mind
Orange passion, blacked memories
And pure white wings falling away

Desire of mine
Lives not through the night
My love for you once a swarm
Now only hushed walls
And will-less husks
Within an ashen tomb